Wednesday, September 16, 2009


And, why my blog is called:
"The End Of The World Will Have to Wait Until Next Year..."

Well, I really enjoyed writing as Fritz and the few who have read his blog entries have commented positively, so while the anniversary of my MS diagnosis is still fresh, I will unleash some more of Fritz. I hope you enjoy. Yes, some of the stories get a little risque, but it is all innuendo and the stories are as innocent as you want to make them. Enjoy!

Entry 3
What a way to kick off Oktoberfest or should I say, what we were calling the LHC Sausagefest! YES, the celebration BBQ was a rousing success.  The two Swiss Robinson twins were killer in drag and quite enthusiastic when the band played the chicken dance. And lab assistant Juanita Riley from the Bronx provided some fine entertainment on the main table. I think we may have experienced our first glimpse of what its like for a black hole to evaporate, if you know what I mean. Now there was some real honest to goodness elastic scattering and diffraction dissociation there, my friends. The forces of nature were colliding forming what the layman might call new hot dense states of matter that could only exist right after the big bang! Higgs bosons and supersymmetric particles were everywhere! BUT, I digress just a tad. An aside to the partygoing... Old Man Evans dropped the key to his Beamer during his ummm, protocol review with lab assistant Jones and we will have to depolarize the cryo magnets for the next week, so we can pry it loose. Yes, we can detect the smallest of subatomic particles in this rat-trap, but we can't do it overnight. Keep pushing the button my friends!
Entry 4
This isn’t going to SURPRISE anyone.  There are varying theories about what will happen here at the LHC, cutely named “Halo” by our jealous professionals at the Royal Society of Chemistry in London , but that is another story, AND we completely reject that name, by the way…friggin’ gamers. To get to my point and to make a long story short, we have been fending off this annoying lawsuit filed in Hawaii of all places. Anyways, I am really HUNGOVER from our Sausage festivities the other night and also quite puzzled why my knees are raw, my backside is sore and it smells of turbine oil, but again, that’s another story. I remember some really good times and the times I don’t remember, I think I want them to stay there. Let's just say I'm hanging up the Spam Waitress outfit back in the closet, pun intended.  What was I saying? OH YES, I am struggling to keep my mind on this Complaint for Temporary Restraining Order filed by Mr.’s Sancho and Wagner who have this fear that we may be more capable of accomplishing our goals than ANYONE and they have gone on record in the courts to say that we may be creating stranglets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and such. Poppycock! Let me say, IF the particle collisions we create were to convert into two massive particles with north and south magnetic monopoles that resulted in the catalytic decay of atoms and protons, AND caused them to convert other types of matter in a runaway reaction AND this resulted in the Earth’s poles reversing/flipping, all that means is that come this February, Punxsutawney Phil will not see his shadow and there WILL NOT be 6 more weeks of winter. Do I hear any applause?... yes, you are very welcome!  Where’s the harm! We can just blame it on global warming just like everyone else, and no one is the wiser!  We all know they have absolutely no scientific basis for THEIR “wacko” conclusions!  Based on that, I’m sure we can get this frivolous lawsuit dismissed.  Namaste, my friends!

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